Saturday, June 30, 2007

watch me!

My kids have been swimming almost every day this summer and I have seen my share of diving board tricks. Matthew has performed the Cannonball, the Triple Whip, the Can Opener, the Pencil, and the unforgettable Egg trick where his bottom hits the diving board before he lands in the water. "Mom, it's when the egg cracks!"

The Egg is now officially banned from his performance.

Allison has accomplished a backflip off the diving board, back dives, and the Flying Squirrel.

It's just more than a mom can handle.

Then there is the constant "Watch me, mom!" "Watch this, mom!" "Have you seen this, mom?" They want to show off for me and win my approval with their great olympic-worthy feats. Did I mention that I get to judge their jumps too? From zero to ten.

Aren't you glad that we don't have to perform for God to win his approval or get his attention? God is not impressed when we say, "Watch me, God!" There is nothing we can do better than what Christ did for us. God just wants our hearts and we get His seal of approval when we accept Him as our Savior.

So let's stop "flipping those gainers" and rest in Him!

Thursday, June 28, 2007!!!!!!

I just found out that the next American Idol tryouts will begin this month...already! Hasn't America had enough of this glorified karaoke show?

The last season of American Idol, number six, reminded me of when the phrase "jump the shark" became part of pop culture. It was when The Fonz did indeed "jump a shark" while on water skis on an episode of Happy Days. It was all downhill after that. Happy Days soon gave birth to Joanie loves Chachi. 'Nuff said.

Other shows and examples of "jumping the shark":

Laverne and Shirley moved to L.A.

Chrissy left Jack and Janet on Three's Company.

Martha Stewart takes over The Apprentice.

Ashley Simpson's lip synching fiasco on Saturday Night Live.

Marlena was possessed by the devil on Days of our Lives.

Corey and Topanga got married on Boy Meets World.

And in one word, the point where American Idol jumped the shark.....Sanjaya.

Do you know a show, past or present, that crossed the line and lost its audience because it did something stupid for ratings? Post a comment and tell me about it.

ready ten minute

I have been exercising and eating healthier a lot more these past few weeks than I have in a while. Treadmilling at home, getting on the elliptical machine at the rec center, messing around with some free weights, eating smaller portions, more salads, and less junk. I was hoping to permanently incorporate these disciplines into my lifestyle...

...until I went to No. 1.

No.1 is the best Chinese hole-in-the-wall in North Augusta, located next to the new Food Lion on Highway 25. Every time I call in an order, they say it will be "ready ten minute!!" and they never ask my cracks me up. Their sesame chicken is to die for. So is the pork fried rice. And so are the egg rolls. Lunch was good. And I blew my new lifestyle.

I hate myself now.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Hot Seat with Bob Griffin

Bob is a stay-at-home dad to Zak and Jaxson. I caught up with him on his cell while he was watching Zak at swim lessons:

1. What prompted your decision to become Mr. Mom?

I did not exactly choose to do this. But due to medical reasons, I had to leave my job, which allowed me this opportunity. We are making lemonade out of lemons.

2. What are the most difficult issues you have discovered about being a stay-at-home dad?

It is a hard job. Some days I think it would be easier to drive my UPS route. But this experience has created a special bond between the boys and me and I am grateful for that.

3. Some people have the impression that stay-at-home parents sit around eating bon-bons while watching The Price is Right all day. What do you think about that?

There may be people who can do that. But with two active boys, I don't have time for such luxuries. It is a non-stop job until they go to bed at night.

4. Do you have a support system in which you get a break?

Tracy's parents are available to help when I need them, but I try not to take advantage of that.

5. Is Tracy going to let you join the Mother's Club?

Absolutely not. She would definitely put her foot down if I started hanging out with the moms!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

about boys

Dear Kacie and Allison, this is a post from Perry Noble's blog (from NewSpring). He is getting ready to have a baby gurl (Charisse) and his message last Sunday was directed toward her when she is 12 years old. Please read this section, because it is meant for you too! This is what I have been trying to tell you.
Love, Mom

Many Boys Are Jerks–Do Not Settle!
Some key points here were…

I had a staff member tell me he would change it to “all boys are jerks…and God happens to redeem a few.” I agree!!!

The problem with many single Christian ladies is the temptation to settle. In a recent survey I saw where 60% of the Christians in America are female…so…many of them feel like that have to take what they can get.

I told Charisse, “Honey–it is the year 2019 right now…and many of the single ladies here are more in love with the idea of being in a relationship and being married MORE than they are in love with Jesus, and so, they settled…and during the past 12 years many of them are now divorced and have experienced some serious pain in their lives…all because they didn’t have high standards.”

The Bible says in Ephesians 3:20 that God is able to so much more than we could ever ask or imagine…so single ladies should set incredibly high standards…and then watch God blow them out of the water.

Lucretia, my wife, said the following question should be asked before entering ANY serious relationship! “Is this the kind of love God meant when He created Adam and Eve, the kind between two people that truly reflects His love for us (the I Corinthians 13 kind), or are you settling for less than God’s immeasurably more than anything you can ask or imagine?”
What should a man be? What am I looking for in a man who will win the heart of my daughter? (Yes, I will make that call…I am her father!)

A Priest - he needs to be in love with Jesus and know God’s Word. I tell single guys all the time that the best thing they can do to prepare themselves for marriage is to read the Bible over and over again…to memorize it…AND to apply it!!! If a guy doesn’t know Scripture–he cannot spiritually lead my daughter, and I will show him the door. I said in one service, “If he isn’t willing to go through the book of Leviticus for you then he isn’t worthy of you!”

A Protector - if a guy EVER puts a lady into a situation where she feels compromised emotionally, physically or spiritually…then he is NOT a godly man, he is actually acting more like satan–seeking to manipulate her to fulfill his own selfish desires. A true man of God protects a woman AND her reputation. It was also here that I said if a boy ever puts here into a situation like I just described…then I will put him into a “situation” that will allow me to begin a prison ministry.

A Provider - I told my little girl, “Don’t bring home some broke boy that I am going to have to support and who wants to live in my basement!” I want my little girl to date a marry a man who has dreams AND A JOB!!! Single guys–WORK!!! And do not e-mail me telling me that a job isn’t important–that is why you are single you moron!!! Fall in love with Jesus–treat women like women should be treated in the eyes of God–and WORK to provide for her!!!

I told Charisse that I want great grandkids one day…and that we can’t get racehorses breeding with mules…so date and marry a godly man!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Kacie and I were at Clemson (aka "Clempson") last week for freshman orientation. For her of course, not for me. Although someone DID ask me if I had my ID picture taken yet! It's true.

This session had 300 students and one or two of their parents....a lot of people to shuffle around. Clemson has a bus system throughout the campus and to the surrounding cities and towns so the kids can go to Walmart, Bi-Lo, the mall, etc....for FREE!

No Starbucks....nowhere. What's up with no Starbucks in a college town???

They split the students and parents up a few times, mainly for schedule advisement and registration of classes. Did they think we were going to try to interfere or something? Gosh!

There was a breakout session where the administrators had a "Parent Talk" parents are supposed to deal with the adjustment to college life. I am getting a little anxious about my baby gurl going to college. I will be setting the dinner table for one less person in a couple of months and I am saving up all my crying until then. I am in task mode for now, just making the plans and paying the money.

After everything is in place, then....I will have time to cry.

Monday, June 11, 2007

onion goggles

I am definitely throwing away my bag of frozen diced onions now!

My neighbor, who knows how painful it is for me to chop onions, bought a pair of ONION GOGGLES for me this past weekend from a shop in Hendersonville, NC. I still stand by what I said about swim goggles! They do work, but these have fog-free lenses, foam-lined frames, and slip on like glasses to prevent eye circles and goggle hair.

Thanks, Beth! You can borrow them anytime!

Thursday, June 07, 2007

efficiency at its worst

Check out this bathroom remodel. There are actually people who would want this.

is this for real?

Saw this at a store in NY.

Lookin' Good for Jesus Fix-it Kit. Redeems you in his eyes and takes the edge off sinning. The kit contains a mirrored Jesus statuette, vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-Lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

the big apple...part two

Alan was very patient while Kacie and I shopped in New York, looking for bargains that could not be found. He said he was just doing as he was told. Ha!

Here he is at H & M:

Here he is at Old Navy:

And at Forever 21:

Waiting patiently at Charlotte Russe:

Too bad we didn't come across a Home Depot or Lowe's for Alan!!!

Sunday, June 03, 2007

the big apple...part one

Alan, Kacie, and I were in New York City for a few days. We considered this her senior trip since she graduated from high school last week. It was a no-brainer for her to choose NY over the muddy waters of Myrtle Beach. Duh, mom!

Here is a quick summary of our experience...part one:

1. We were stranded in Washington, DC airport due to a terrorist scare at JFK in New York. My friends, Beth, Melanie, and Tracy, were tracking our flight on the internet to make sure we weren't headed to JFK. They were calling my cell to make sure we were okay. And we didn't even know what was going on! They knew more about me, my flight number, and my departure time than I did! I love my worry-wart friends! Of course I freaked out, but my Dramamine was kicking in. So I decided to take a nap and get over it. It took us most of the day to get to NY, so Saturday was pretty much lost.

2. Kacie and I shared a pair of iPod earbuds on the plane and played name that iTune.

3. I did not throw up on the airplane...this time! But almost.

4. We took a taxi from the airport to our hotel. I am convinced there are NO RULES for taxi drivers. I thought we were going to die! Alan said our driver acted as though he was playing MarioKart...he was about to shoot some turtle shells any minute now. Whatever that means.

5. DO NOT wear flip flops in NY City if you are doing much walking. People step all over your feet and they don't care.

6. When the street signs say don't walk, they mean it. Don't even think about it.

7. More advice that I learned from experience: Don't sit on the sidewalk to get off your feet for a few minutes because more than likely you will get up with gum on your butt. Trust me.

8. Nobody laughed in NY. Maybe they left their sense of humor at home.

9. There were rude people and there were nice people. When I needed to ask someone a question, I made a game out of trying to pick out the nice people. I scored most of the time.

10. New York City has a Starbucks on just about every corner.

11. We went to a church on Sunday morning that is similar in style to TNC. We ran into a group of people from Marietta who know Lance and Jenny Lou. Small world!

12. Alan ran into one of his friends' sons on the street in Chinatown...the only person we actually know in NY. Another random moment.

13. I missed sweet tea so bad! One waiter said they had tea and I could "add sugar". Not!