The Hot Seat with Allison and Jessie

Last night Kelly and I took our girls to a class about "the birds and the bees". We sat in the back of the room while someone else spilled the beans for us. We are chickens.

1. Did you girls learn something new tonight?

Giggle, giggle, giggle

2. That was a lot of information thrown at you at once, wasn't it?

Giggle, giggle, giggle

3. Is there anything you don't understand?

Giggle, giggle, giggle

4. Well, you know if you have any questions just feel free to ask...your dads.

MOM!!!!!!!! That's not funny!

where is chuck norris?

Go to google.com
Search "find Chuck Norris"
Click "I'm feeling lucky"
Read the writing in red....and LOL!
Do it....for real.

Here is a Top 10 list of my favorite Chuck Norris jokes (my coffee is kicking in):

10. Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

9. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

8. Chuck Norris doesn't step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris.

7. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

6. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

5. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

4. Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

2. Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.

and the best Chuck Norris joke ever....

1. Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

boogie wonderland

I took Matthew, Allison, and BFF Elizabeth to the skating rink after church yesterday. My arms hurt worse than my legs because I had to hold Matthew up to keep him from falling and pulling me down with him. As always it was a great trip down memory lane. Some of my greatest elementary and junior high school memories were at Red Wing Rollerway in North Augusta. Those were the days when the most important decision I had to make was whether to go skating on Friday night or all day on Saturday. I remember skating to classic songs such as Boogie Wonderland, Funkytown, We Will Rock You, My Sharona, Pop Muzik, and Another One Bites the Dust. Of course for "couple skating" there were those timeless treasures: Open Arms, Please Don't Go, and all the Air Supply stuff. If I missed a weekend of skating, I had missed out on the biggest social event in town.

I was always in awe of the skaters who could waltz. I wanted to be a waltzer. The reason I couldn't waltz is because I was afraid of falling and getting hurt. I mean, it's hard enough to hold yourself up much less having to worry about getting tangled up with two other feet. I played it safe because I didn't want to risk getting my teeth knocked out or my Farrah Fawcett hair messed up. Instead, couple skating for me consisted of holding some boy's sweaty hand. And sometimes I just sat on the sidelines, on those famous round, carpeted benches.

Isn't that the way life is? We are so afraid of getting hurt that we miss out on some of life's greatest opportunities. We are afraid of relationships, we fear death, we fear the unknown, we fear pain, and sometimes we fear God. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us the Spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Imagine what we could accomplish as Christ-followers if we could live a life without fear by surrendering to the power of the Holy Spirit.

Yeah, we need to get off the sidelines and start waltzing.

little lennon

Did John Lennon and Yoko Ono have a frozen embryo thawed out?

people matter

Right now, my worst nightmare is someone else's reality.

My ex-boss is currently making funeral arrangements for his beautiful 20-year-old daughter who was recently killed in a car accident. My heart breaks just thinking about the decisions he is having to make right now. His situation makes every decision that I make today seem so insignificant.

What to cook, what to wear, where to go, which way to go, what song to listen to, what to blog about. Does it really matter?

No.

People matter.

Believe it or not...God doesn't care about our clothes, our cars, Starbucks, or our stupid blogs. He cares about us and wants us to care about each other. Look at the people around you. Yeah, even the irker that gets on your nerves. Tomorrow wouldn't be the same without them.

Now, go hug somebody.

ask me

I realize the benefits of t-shirt advertising every time I wear one of my TrueNorth t-shirts. I wore one today and a cashier at Kroger asked me about my church. We had a great conversation and before I left I gave her an invite card.

These moments are so random and unpredictable that when they happen I know that God set up the entire situation. He knew what shirt I had on. He saw me grab a stack of invite cards at the church office this morning because I didn't have any. He knew I would be going through her checkout line. And He put the curiosity in her mind to ask me the question: Why do so many people go to TrueNorth?

Being the initiator of these conversations can be awkward when it comes to inviting people to church. Sometimes all it takes is a t-shirt to cause the other person to ask questions.

And an invite card to seal the deal.

the invasion of hannah montana

Sold out movie theaters. Over-priced tickets. Tweenagers with hair extensions and 3D glasses. Looks like the world has been invaded by Miley. No, Hannah. No, Miley. No, Hannah. Wait a minute..."The Best of Both Worlds" is ringing in my ears....make it STOP!!!!!!!

Apparently it has not been easy to get tickets for the live Hannah Montana concert. Walt Disney decided to put the concert in movie theaters in order to reach more people. Hannah goes to them on video since they can't come to her. 29 million dollars later, it looks like a brilliant idea. Brilliant!

Thank goodness I did not have to take my kids to see the show. My sixth grade daughter said, "That is soooooo 5th grade!!!"