Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Hot Seat with Mrs. Claus


I had the privilege of volunteering at Hammond Hill Elementary's Santa Shop today and I had a nice little chat with Mrs. Claus. If you thought Santa was in charge at the North Pole, well you were wrong:

1. Mrs. Claus, what is your full name?

It is Jessica Mary Claus, but some fruitcakes think it is funny to call me "Mary Christmas". Pun intended, they say.

2. Why don't you go deliver toys with Santa on Christmas Eve?

Well...somebody has to stay back at the Pole and keep the spirits up and organize the chaos. With the new age of technology, we make our lists and check them twice using computers now. This younger generation of elves insisted on us purchasing Mac computers. Unfortuately with all the high-maintenance computer problems we have had, I have to stick around to constantly reboot and troubleshoot the computers. I'd rather use pen and paper.

3. What do you and Santa do during the Spring and Summer?

You can usually find us in the Florida Keys with some of our retired friends. One year we ran into Mister Heat Miser, which caused us to cut our fun-in-the-sun short. Being in the same place with "Mister Hundred and One" is just TOO MUCH! We ended up in Vegas after that.

4. Why is Rudolph's nose so bright?

Rudolph had a little "accident" in the toy shop and I hit him over the head with a frying pan. His nose fell off and now he wears a prosthetic device that glows red. Oopsie.

5. Do you do a lot of cooking at the North Pole?

Have you seen Santa's jelly belly? I have to make cookies all the time. Thank goodness for the new break and bake versions. And the elves are no better. They think the four food groups are candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. I spend a lot of time making sure everyone is happy and well-fed. It's not like we have pizza delivery around here.

Mrs. Claus, you are our hero.

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